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Since learning about microaggressions, my awareness of it seemed to have been heightened. I am realizing that microagressions occur everyday and many times go unnoticed. This evening I attended one of my friend's baby shower. She is of African descent and is very dark in complexion. Her husband is of mixed races and is very fair in complexion and has soft wavy hair. One of the games that we played is ' Guess what your baby looks like' . One of the attendees drew her representation of the baby with a black crayon, which indicated that she believed that the baby will be dark skinned like its mother. My friend's husband's mother and sister were upset by this. They said that the baby should look like its father because dark babies are not as attractive as fair ones. Well the game broke into an argument between those who disagreed and those who agreed with the statement. Though it was done in friendly chatter I observed and wondered how the mother of the unborn child felt about the comments. I wondered if she was suffering from the Catch 22 dilemma. I asked the group if they did not think it was disrespectful to put down people of dark complexion while elevating persons of a fairer complexion. I asked them to think about the psychological damage that could occur over a period of time to someone being told that he/she is not good enough because of the colour of their skin. They said that they were only referring to babies and that I was getting too philosophical and therefore spoiling the mood of the party.
I continued to observe the mother to be after the discussion ended to see if there were any observable traits of pain but, I found non. I guess she has learnt how to cover the hurt felt from those microagressions over time. My observation experiences this week on microaggressions has caused me to realize that people can be insensitive. We hold prejudices and discriminate, sometimes totally unaware of how much pain we cause others.
Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions
Since learning about microaggressions, my awareness of it seemed to have been heightened. I am realizing that microagressions occur everyday and many times go unnoticed. This evening I attended one of my friend's baby shower. She is of African descent and is very dark in complexion. Her husband is of mixed races and is very fair in complexion and has soft wavy hair. One of the games that we played is ' Guess what your baby looks like' . One of the attendees drew her representation of the baby with a black crayon, which indicated that she believed that the baby will be dark skinned like its mother. My friend's husband's mother and sister were upset by this. They said that the baby should look like its father because dark babies are not as attractive as fair ones. Well the game broke into an argument between those who disagreed and those who agreed with the statement. Though it was done in friendly chatter I observed and wondered how the mother of the unborn child felt about the comments. I wondered if she was suffering from the Catch 22 dilemma. I asked the group if they did not think it was disrespectful to put down people of dark complexion while elevating persons of a fairer complexion. I asked them to think about the psychological damage that could occur over a period of time to someone being told that he/she is not good enough because of the colour of their skin. They said that they were only referring to babies and that I was getting too philosophical and therefore spoiling the mood of the party.
I continued to observe the mother to be after the discussion ended to see if there were any observable traits of pain but, I found non. I guess she has learnt how to cover the hurt felt from those microagressions over time. My observation experiences this week on microaggressions has caused me to realize that people can be insensitive. We hold prejudices and discriminate, sometimes totally unaware of how much pain we cause others.
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Great post! I agree with you completely in that once I read about Microaggression, I too see it more prominently. I have never heard of such a disagreement being done publicly at a baby shower. It is said that from your observations that the mother had learned how to cover or let the microaggressions not affect her. People should not have to learn to tolerate such incidences.
ReplyDeleteNicola,
ReplyDeleteThis is sad I hate that the game broke up over something like this. You know all babies are beautiful and and you are so right I beat the mother was in a "Catch 22" situation as well she probably did not know which or what way to side or go. We deal with a lot of microaggressions everyday and we really don't realize them. But this heightens our understandings of them and keeps us aware of them as well.
-Rachel Hendrix